Run Away

2010-01-12T20:23:00.002+08:00

Ok I am officially working for TCC, starting next week. It's weird how there isn't even any training. It's done at the boutique itself which means you learn while working so yea...wish me luck =X The pay is low though...5.30 per hour but it's quite flexible. Just have to work min 4 days per week and 4hrs per shift so yay more free time for me!

Probably going Genting next week. So looking forward to it =D First time there and of course with a great company =P

Getting more and more plastic nowadays...hmmm but who cares lol. They made me plastic so here goes =)

2009-12-30T01:08:00.002+08:00

ORD LOH! Haha think it's abit late for that now. It's been almost 2 weeks since I OH-R-DEED already. Been slacking around lately, working on and off for that extra cash. Heading for a job interview tomorrow to get a more proper job. Not sure if I'm up to it though.

Grandma passed away a week ago and I know many people are going to complain that I'm heartless, unfilial and so on. I feel that too but there are some things which I just can't do. Sorry... I hope she is happy up there in her new home. I will remember her definitely.

Trying to get back the momentum to blog so I'll be trying haha. Not sure how it goes but I don't want to lose that extra bit of income! =X

2009-10-13T12:13:00.001+08:00

Fuck you for asking money from me again. I'm not giving in and you can forget about trying. To think that you only call to ask for money. You're just a nobody to me.

2009-09-04T09:32:00.000+08:00

Enjoyed my Bangkok trip even though it was rather short. Many things have changed over these few weeks I guess..

2009-08-08T11:15:00.000+08:00

Cant believe I'm really going to Bangkok for holiday. First time travelling overseas with friends. Hope nothing goes wrong @.@

2009-07-23T07:14:00.000+08:00

Call Your Name - Daughtry

You never said, you never said, you never said that it would be this hard
Love is meant to be forever, now or never seems to discard
There's got to be a better way for me to say what's on my heart without leaving scars
So can you hear me when I call your name?

When you fall apart, am I the reason for your endless sorrow?
There's so much to be said
With a broken heart, your walls can only go down but so low
But can you hear me when I call your name?
When I call your name

Complicated situations are the makings of all that's wrong
And I've been standing in the river of deliverance way too long
There's got to be a better way for me to say what's on my heart without leaving scars
So can you hear me when I call your name?
So can you hear me when I call your name?

When you fall apart, am I the reason for your endless sorrow?
There's so much to be said
With a broken heart, your walls can only go down but so low
But can you hear me when I call your name?

You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said
(When I call your name)
You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said
(When I call your name)

Yeah

When you fall apart, am I the reason for your endless sorrow?
There's so much to be said
With a broken heart, your walls can only go down but so low
But can you hear me when I call your name?

When you fall apart, am I the reason for your endless sorrow?
There's so much to be said
With a broken heart, your walls can only go down but so low
But can you hear me when I call your name?

2009-07-19T04:15:00.002+08:00

"If we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it the one day when we are seperated?

And if being seperated is a part of life, and you know about seperation well, is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them?

Is it possible that, we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all? "

So emo omg...just listening to all these make me feel emo too =(

2009-07-09T09:39:00.002+08:00

Permanent by David Cook

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent

I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, oh God is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away but still you say

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent, I'm permanent

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I guess I think too highly of myself.
I need to cheer up!

2009-07-01T13:50:00.002+08:00

Was going through my mp3s today and I realised I forgot how nice this song is. Just want to share =D

郭静 - 知道

她让你憔悴许多
她让你不知所措
她一句一动你不停的对我说
我微笑倾听你说
我却越听越心痛
怎么你说的不是我
他比我多了什么
让你愿意耐心等候
我想知道她让你痴心是什么
我想知道她让你疯狂为什么
我知道做的和她没有不同
但是我却不在你心中逗留
我想知道她哪里比我好很多
在你心中她和我有什么不同
我知道我比她付出的还多
可是我总换不了你的心动
你让我憔悴很多
你让我不知所措
你一句一动我的心被牵着走
她不经意的走过
你就把我给冷落
嫉妒把我给吞没
她比我多了什么
让你愿意耐心等候
我想知道她让你痴心是什么
我想知道她让你疯狂为什么
我知道做的和她没有不同
但是我却不在你心中逗留
我想知道她哪里比我好很多
在你心中她和我有什么不同
我知道我比她付出的还多
可是我总换不了你的心动
我知道了她哪里比我好很多
在你心中我永远不可能会让你心动
我知道我比她付出的还多
可是我在你心中没有她多

2009-06-30T15:34:00.002+08:00

Finally hit 20! =P I think I'm starting to get immuned to birthdays.

And yes I was damn happy to know that I can book out on Sunday. Anything beats having to stay in camp not to mention how stupids things are now due to the H1N1.

I finally watched Transformers!! I still think the first one is better though...got more "feel"..But yea this is not that bad either. I wont mind watching it the 2nd time =P

Kinda looking forward to the class bbq this coming sat. Wonder how the others are...hmm.

It's funny how things turn out the way it is. I just keep feeling lost nowadays, not knowing what to do. Bleh.

2009-06-21T10:10:00.002+08:00

Life is still boring...nothing interesting happened or will happen I guess. It's just booking in and booking out now. I'm dying of boredom. I want to ORD!

The future is so uncertain. Am I ready for it?

2009-06-06T21:56:00.000+08:00

Dance Subaru Song!

Bolero by 東方神起

2009-05-18T11:21:00.004+08:00

ETEP FINALLY OVER!!

Finally time to rest. Most probably going to do the stuff I've put on hold for quite some time. Let's see how it goes. Hmm...just damn glad ETEP is over =D

It's finally down to Adam and Kris on American Idol. I hope Adam wins but I don't mind Kris too =P They are both dam good and I'm glad they are on the show this season.

My mum told me to be prepared for the worst for my grandma. I think it's time. Hope she is happy when it comes.

2009-05-10T10:16:00.003+08:00

Decisions are always hard to make. Before you decide, you will think of all the what ifs out there. After you decide, you gotta convince yourself you won't regret it and worst of all, face the consequences from then on.

What happens when the decision gets too big for you to handle and yet you can't ask others for help? Just choose what you want and get along with life? Easier said then done I guess. But isn't that what life is all about? Risks have to be taken and that's the way it is.

I wonder what will happen from here on...when I stop running.

2009-04-26T07:11:00.001+08:00

*Yawns...argh..have to go back to camp for orderly today. I AM BORED!

2009-04-11T07:13:00.002+08:00

Adam Lambert - Mad World

Owned.

2009-04-05T06:56:00.001+08:00

Given a chance I swear I would leave this place.

I swear I will never become someone like him.

2009-03-29T08:36:00.002+08:00

Bleh...I feel dam tired...bored nowadays. Haven got the energy to do anything.

My grandma is getting from bad to worse. My grandpa is getting more and more irritated and frustrated taking care of her. Sometimes she will just keep screaming about everything. Sometimes she just keep sleeping. She no longer can see or hear clearly. She no longer knows who is who and what is going on. Instead of going forward, she is now living backwards. Surviving on memories that only she know of.

2009-03-14T15:04:00.002+08:00

Yay combat shoot is finally over...woot! It was not as bad as I expected, though it reminded me about field camp. Im so glad it's over.

I have also made up my mind to stay in SMU and not reapply for other course. I know it's rather weird to do psychology in SMU...after all it is a business school. I'm just so drawn to the small course size and hopefully it will do me good.

Met up with S211 last week and had steamboat at Moo's house. It's nice to have such gathering once a while. Also tried playing Rock Band and damn it's really hard!

It's March already...another month nearer to ORD~ YAYZ!

2009-03-05T10:03:00.002+08:00

If No One Will Listen - Kelly Clarkson

Maybe no one told you there is strength in your tears
And so you fight to keep from pouring out
But what if you unlock the gate that keeps your secret soul
Do you think that there's enough you might drown?

If no one will listen
If you decide to speak
If no one's left standing after the bombs explode
If no one wants to look at you
For what you really are
I will be here still
I will be here still

No one can take you where you alone must go
There's no telling what you will find there
And, God, I know the fear that eats away at your bones
It's screaming every step, "Just stay here?

If no one will listen
If you decide to speak
If no one's left standing after the bombs explode
If no one wants to look at you
For what you really are
I will be here still

If you find your fists are raw and red from beating yourself down
If your legs have given out under the weight
If you find you've been settling for a world of gray
So you wouldn't have to face down your own hate

If no one will listen
If you decide to speak
If no one's left standing after the bombs explode
If no one wants to look at you
For what you really are
I will be here still

If no one will listen
If you decide to speak
If no one's left standing after the bombs explode
If no one wants to look at you
For what you really are
I will be here still
I will be here still

2009-03-01T07:42:00.001+08:00

For those who want to know about the Indicative Grade Profile of the various Uni:

NUS
NTU
SMU

2009-02-28T09:24:00.003+08:00

"I have my own problems and I don't have time for you guys"

Imagine getting that from someone you waited for one hour before letting you know that he "might come later". Not to mention that he reply none of your text and probably only decide to send you a notification that he might be coming when he thinks you are waiting too long. Then of course he expects you to expect that he won't be coming after you waited 1hr for him. WHO DOES THIS??? SO WHAT if he has his own problems. Is it THAT hard to send a sms to say whether he is coming or not. EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN PROBLEMS AND WORRIES. Does that mean they can do things like that? For 1hr I stood at the train station like a idiot, thinking that everyone else is going to come. Then he comes telling me "you should have expected that I won't turn up". It clearly shows how much our friendship is worth in his eyes - nothing.

Damn I feel so stupid...for trusting you guys...or expecting too much from you guys.

Is it really too hard to say "Yes, im coming", "Sry I cant make it", "Sry im gonna be a lil late". Well maybe it is for you guys. That's your way of telling me to buzz off, I get it. I'm done. Congrats on destroying this 3years long friendship, if there ever was any.

2009-02-06T06:03:00.002+08:00

Things have definitely changed much since the new environment. It's more of a "time to face the reality" feeling I have got.

Grandma is in the hospital again. I've seriously lost count of the number of times she was admitted and it came to a point of I don't even know why she is admitted, she is just there =/

Maybe I'm too optimistic sometimes. But then, isn't it a good thing?

2009-01-31T02:09:00.002+08:00

七月雪 July Snow - 对错 MV

曲：七月雪
詞：七月雪
導演：Candice Chua
OP: Sony Music Publishing(Pte)Ltd Taiwan

你和我，就象春夏秋冬
四季的配合
曾拥有，一种快乐
幸福很独特
牵着手，但想说的话却说不出口
时间所赐的宽容，锁在眼中

太洒脱，你走的太洒脱
难免会失落
我没有，勇敢接受
没有你的结果
松了手，但重要的话还说不出口
时间夺回的宽容，瞬间成空

相同的天空
掩盖不同的世界
刚消失的彩虹
再美丽也是，记忆的伤痛

是否对的人，遇在错的时候
怎么也搞不懂，这种温柔　
为何不能天长地久
重温的旧梦，也许会再次相逢
难道只剩下我，独自守候
愿床边的空不冷漠

为何这一切
总要失去之后才了解
脑海的画面，从没少了你的脸
半夜或午歇
今日的我困在那昨天
如何爱才不熄灭，画不撕裂
不想再告别

Hailing from Singapore, 七月雪 a.k.a July Snow is an indie singing/songwriting duo comprising of Janus and Genrong. With influences ranging from Brian McKnight to Kpop; July Snow compose, arrange, produce and perform their own style of music.

July Snow participated Songsiwrite.com competition in 2007 and won for most popular song 寒风. The duo went on to participate in Sony Taiwan's SAMP songwriting competition 2008 with the song 只为你 and came in 2nd in an Asia-wide online voting. 七月雪 is currently under Sony Taiwan as songwriters.

July Snow is currently recording new songs and plan to release an album by 2009. For performance bookings, enquiries or collaborations, please contact us at julysnw@gmail.com :)

Add us on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/pages/July-Snow/31957096770

VERY NICE! Must help to advertise for fellow singaporeans =D

2009-01-18T00:25:00.002+08:00

So many things happened this week...while we were on standby. First was of course the real activation on wed. It was at somewhere near the Israel Embassy. Being our first activation, everyone was so panicky and worried. I was having a shower half way when the siren went off. Totally chua sai, balls dropped. Luckily it was a false alarm and my team didnt have to go down on site. Thank god. Can't really imagine what will happen if it turns out otherwise. Then on thurs, I don't know what happened but I vomitted 4 times in camp. Didn't even have dinner that day and luckily it got better at night. Just when everything seems to get better, monk cut himself on the face while washing clothes. That was kinda lol but yea...he was dam unlucky. No stiches were required, luckily.

Hopefully all the bad luck goes away after this week.

American Idol Season 8 has started!! This season looks pretty good with the first 2 rounds of audition.

CNY is coming! Can't wait for the holiday to come. I want to ORD!!!

2009-01-09T18:53:00.003+08:00

Run - Leona Lewis

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Light up, Light up
As if you have a choice
even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, Louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak i understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say....

2009-01-04T18:43:00.002+08:00

This shop, Chuan Jiang Hao Zi Steamboat Restaurant totally sux. Don't even bother going there. It's expensive and unhygenic. Wasted my time and money. Spoiled my mood too. It's located somewhere in Chinatown so take note. Never go there unless you want to pay $30 for cockroaches.

2009-01-01T23:14:00.002+08:00

Spend night yesterday at Conrad Hotel with jc friends for our own countdown/gathering. The cost for 1 night need $300, like dam ex sia lol. Luckily got alot of people sharing. But overall the room is nice. Very cosy, very good for couples. Something interesting happened yesterday though at the hotel. By right, no guests are supposed to enter the hotel after evening time because they had their own countdown event which cost $68 to enter. So if we were to try to enter the hotel as a guest, we need to pay $68 which is totally ridiculous. So after dinner, we tried to sneak our way in with 2 cards that grants us access. We tried to go in groups of 2s just using 1 card. It worked, so someone gotta come out again to pick another one of us. We then tried 3 people and it worked too. When it was my turn, we went in 3s too and they stopped us even though we showed them the card. They asked for our room number and I was like...damn I don't really know the room number. I just know which floor. So I kinda just throw of some random room number. I told them 905 but they end up hearing 901. Then they asked me again, how many people are there? I was like...damn...why I so suay. I replied them saying 3 since there is 3 of us entering. Surprisingly, they allowed us in after checking their list. When another group of my friends tried to enter, they werent allowed because they crapped a room number out and it turns out that the numbers don't match, the people who are supposed to be in the room. I was like wow, I must be dam lucky, to not only get the room number right but the number of people too. In the end, our room number was actually 907. Then they were saying about how I was calm while lying through my way and how I was dam tyco to be able to get in. I was like lololol...

We left in the morning around 6 while some others stayed on to sleep haha. After got home WoWed the whole day before catching Ip Man in the evening. I was afraid I would fall asleep during the show but Ip Man is so dam nice and funny! I am so happy I watched it in the cinema. Fighting scenes are cool and his expressions and actions are funny lol. Its the face man...the face =X

Btw...finally 2009 le. Time to ORD. Can't wait for that to come man. That's all I want this year, to ORD!!!

2008-12-27T05:51:00.002+08:00

Whoa...damn busy this week. Been going out everyday + got stand by. Later gotta book in for stand by too.

Christmas this year is pretty simple. Only went for a guild BBQ at ECP and spent the rest of the day at home relaxing. It's also a chilly xmas when it rained the whole day on xmas eve. Really enjoyed the weather. I still remembered how I spend my christtmas last time at home. Really missed those times.

Block leave seems rather short though...maybe that's because I haven really spend time at home yet.

I dont wanna book in aah!!!

2008-12-19T09:09:00.002+08:00

We had CIP yesterday at a children's home but it was rather meaningless...All we did was area cleaning and supplying them with some cleaning equipments + food. We never even get to interact with the kids -.-" Nevertheless it's my first time visiting a home and to see their living conditions. It's not tat bad actually...not as bad as I expected =X

Things in camp are still the same...or maybe worst. The people I mean...they never change except for the worst. Maybe someday they will understand but I kinda hoped that they don't so that they will regret next time when it's too late. I'm just pleased to know that I'm not like them and I can never be like them no matter how hard I try. Thank god =)

If you don't like someone...why spend so much of your time and effort on them when you can use that time on others whom you like? I don't understand...

2008-12-13T12:37:00.002+08:00

This week was very short. Booked in on Tuesday night, booked out on Thursday afternoon for plat cohesion followed by off on Friday. Watched The Day the Earth Stood Still for plat cohesion and well...I think it's not that bad even though there are people who dozed off =X Then had dinner at Aston followed by gaming at E2Max. Tried the new game and a little of css. The whole day went pretty well except for the fact that I caught a flu.

Watched Twilight yesterday at PS and yes, it is nice! Simple though but still got me glued to the screen for the whole 2 hrs. Their concept of vampires is different from our usual which makes it really interesting. The movie is also quite funny as a whole and I didnt regret watching it at all.

Twilight > The Day the Earth Stood Still =P

After all that nagging of me packing my stuff and me actually throwing away stuff that are more than 10 years old, my mum then told that we will be moving house only at a later date...which is around next year Jan. That's like still so long from now and all my stuff are already packed into boxes. Grr. First it was Dec 8, then the 15 and now Jan. So much for me worrying how to get to camp from the new place. Guess everything will just have to wait for another month. But then again, I'm glad I'm spending the holidays here and the block leave as well. Yay!

2008-12-09T05:34:00.006+08:00

63 words

Typing Test

I did this at like 5.30am in the morning. I think I've got nothing better to do =X

2008-12-07T23:33:00.002+08:00

Haha...really can't believe what I heard during yesterday's stand by. It's like...HAHAHA =X How I wish I was there to withness what happened.

Anyway I'm moving house only on 15 dec. Postponed due to renovations. Oh well...one more week before everything changes.

Things are getting pretty boring nowadays...just doing the same thing over and over again. Bleh.

2008-11-30T08:26:00.002+08:00

黄靖伦 - 缺席

愛是不是都一樣，
無論多漫長終究曲終人散，
可是我不想因為不敢而半途收場，
我還是想說「我想跟你在一起」。
悲傷中勇氣鋪天蓋地而來，
青春的藍色物語，
狂奔的愛與詩意，
勾起過去現在和未來對愛的不滅勇氣。

2008-11-23T16:26:00.000+08:00

Maybe it's time to face reality...time to accept changes...

2008-11-15T22:54:00.004+08:00

This week seemed really long...and Im just glad that it's finally over. It's really funny that when you think that everything is fine, they just have to prove you wrong somehow. No matter how busy the week is, things still happen.

I just feel that...even if you do not like someone, you do not have to hate him. Isn't it tiring to dislike someone for so long? Isn't it easier to leave him alone and not be thinking about him all the time? How can you not like someone yet keep thinking about that person all the while? It's like you enjoy making fun at him rather than you really don't like him. Seriously...I can't understand =/

I got reminded of how stressful studying can be. How expectations can be too tough to handle. Sometimes, parents putting too much pressure on their kids is not really the parent's fault you know. When you don't do enough, people say you don't care for your kids, yet when you do more, they say you are being too hard on them. Seriously, don't you thinking that the line in between is really too thin to even be seen? It's really up to the individual on how he wants to see it as. If it's me, I seriously won't be bothered by their expectations. It's like...hello? you study for your own sake, not theirs? Yes, I make things sound so simple but haven't you thought for a while that maybe it is?

Sometimes I just can't understand what the others are thinking...

2008-11-09T17:19:00.001+08:00

Omg...I'm moving house....

2008-11-09T16:15:00.002+08:00

Thank you BC for the present he got for me from Australia. It's pretty weird though coz it's a book on Criminal Masterminds. He didn't really say why he got that for me though and I really wonder why...hmm?

Went out to celebrate Ken's birthday yesterday. We started by collecting the durian cake we bought at Jalan Kayu then head over to his house to pass him his present, which was a hotel model that we made ourselves. After which we went down to Bishan J8 to catch a movie. We end up meeting EF there haha. She told us a lot about NTU and how there are a lot of "ah tiongs" there. It's weird that she is the only Singaporean in her class =/ Made a lot of us who is going to NTU think twice. Lucky for me, I don't think there will be much "ah tiongs" in SMU.

We watched Quantum of Solace only to find the movie kind of boring. Kinda regret watching it though. There really isn't much plot and the actions are like just normal...At least, I didn't fall asleep haha.

Dinner was great though, we went over to Orchard for Sakura buffet. It's my first time there and the food really is not that bad, quite worth it too I think, for the price.

It's my younger bro's birthday today but my family don't usually celebrate birthdays. So it's kind of like a "you know I know" thing that's all =/

My grandma is finally back from the hospital. She looks weaker than ever...and she keeps sleeping. I hope everything will be ok.

Next week is going to be pretty busy...with the parade, the science center trip and stand by. It might be better this way though...to keep myself busy and not think about unnecessary stuff.

2008-11-08T02:37:00.000+08:00

It's been 3 weeks since I last seen my grandma...I wonder how she is doing...

This week was really busy...rehearsal rehearsal and more rehearsals. Thank god it's over now. Just have to bear with the actual parade on monday before we can finally rest.

I wonder how long can it last...I'm tired...

2008-11-06T18:32:00.002+08:00

Sometimes there are things that you want to tell everyone...but you just can't...putting up a false front is hard...very hard...

2008-11-01T02:02:00.000+08:00

Some jokes to share...

There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant !!
Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES"..OK,BYE". She
turns to her lover and says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH
YOU.

3 Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

Three Guys were introduced to a girl.
Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a saint.
I'm Paul not a POPE.
I'm John not a Baptist...
The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.

Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!

Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as
CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

Yesterday's A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

2008-10-27T06:14:00.000+08:00

周杰倫 Jay Chou - 說好的幸福呢

作詞：方文山作曲：周杰倫

妳的回話凌亂著在這個時刻
我想起噴泉旁的白鴿甜蜜散落了

情緒莫名的拉扯我還愛妳呢
而妳斷斷續續唱著歌假裝沒事了

時間過了走了愛情面臨選擇妳冷了倦了我哭了
離開時的不快樂妳用卡片手寫著有些愛只給到這真的痛了

怎麼了妳累了說好的幸福呢
我懂了不說了愛淡了夢遠了
開心與不開心一一細數著妳再不捨
那些愛過的感覺都太深刻我都還記得

妳不等了說好的幸福呢
我錯了淚乾了放手了後悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著要怎麼停呢

妳的回話凌亂著在這個時刻
我想起噴泉旁的白鴿甜蜜散落了

情緒莫名的拉扯我還愛妳呢
而妳斷斷續續唱著歌假裝沒事了

時間過了走了愛情面臨選擇妳冷了倦了我哭了
離開時的不快樂妳用卡片手寫著有些愛只給到這真的痛了

怎麼了妳累了說好的幸福呢
我懂了不說了愛淡了夢遠了
開心與不開心一一細數著妳再不捨
那些愛過的感覺都太深刻我都還記得

妳不等了說好的幸福呢
我錯了淚乾了放手了後悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著要怎麼停呢

怎麼了妳累了說好的幸福呢
我懂了不說了愛淡了夢遠了我都還記得

妳不等了說好的幸福呢
我錯了淚乾了放手了後悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著要怎麼停呢

2008-10-24T06:15:00.002+08:00

楊丞琳 - 帶我走

每次我总一个人走
交叉路口自己生活
这次你却说等我走
某个角落就你和我
像土壤抓紧花的迷惑像天空缠绵雨的汹涌
在你的身后计算的步伐每个背影每个场景
都有发过的梦

带我走到遥远的以后
带走我一个人自转的寂寞
带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕带我走

每次我总独自远走
保持缄默不皱眉头
这次你却说一起走
彼此温柔从此以後
像土壤抓紧花的迷惑像天空缠绵雨的汹涌
在你的身后计算的步伐每个背影每个场景
都有发过的梦

带我走到遥远的以后
带走我一个人自转的寂寞
带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕带我走

白马溜过漆黑尽头
潮汐袭来浪花颤动
凝在海岸结成了墨
蔷薇朝向草原气球
邮差传来一地彩虹
刻在心中拍打着脉搏

带我走到遥远的以后
带走我一个人自转的寂寞
带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕带我走
带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
带我走

2008-10-18T15:56:00.003+08:00

Been reading the book "The Minds of Billy Milligan" by Daniel Keyes for the past 1 week and felt that it's a cool book to share. I always watch on television where people have split personalities but never did I expect there to be 24 personalities in 1 guy or 24 people living in 1 body.

Billy Milligan can be anyone he wants to be... except himself.

Out of control of his own actions, Billy Milligan was a man tormented by twenty-four distinct personalities battling for supremacy over his body -- a battle that culminated when he awoke in jail, arrested for the kidnap and rape of three women. In a landmark trial, Billy was acquitted of his crimes by reason of insanity caused by multiple personality --the first such decision in history-- bringing to public light the most remarkable and harrowing case of multiple personality ever recorded.

Twenty-four people live inside Billy Milligan.

Philip, a petty criminal; Kevin, who dealt drugs and masterminded a drugstore robbery; April whose only ambition was to kill Billy's stepfather; Adalana, the shy, lonely, affection-starved lesbian who "used" Billy's body in the rapes that led to his arrest; David, the eight-year-old "keeper of pain"; Arthur, the Englishman; Ragen, the "keeper of Rage" who possessed incredible strength; Allen, the con man; Tommy, the escape-artist, and all of the others, including men, women, several children, both boys and girls, and the Teacher, the only one who can put them all together. Each of these "people" play a distinct role in this often shocking true story."

http://www.danielkeyesauthor.com/milligan.html

The Personalities:

The initial list of 10, with their ages, paraphrased here from Daniel Keyes' book:
William Stanley Milligan "Billy", age 26, the core personality.
Arthur, 22. The Englishman
Ragen Vadascovinich, 23. The keeper of hate.
Allen, 18. The con man.
Tommy, 16. The escape artist.
Danny, 14. The frightened one.
David, 8. The keeper of pain.
Christene, 3. The corner child
Christopher, 13. Obedient but troubled
Adalana, 19. The lesbian

Note: Danny and Christopher are twins.

There were also personalities classed as "Undesirables" by the personality in charge. These personalities were deemed to have unworthy qualities and would not hold Milligan's consciousness.
Philip, 20. The thug.
Kevin, 20. The planner.
Walter, 22. The Australian.
April, 19. The bitch.
Samuel, 18. The wandering Jew.
Mark, 16. The workhorse.
Steve, 21. The perpetual imposter.
Lee, 20. The comedian.
Jason, 13. The pressure valve.
Robert, 17. The daydreamer.
Shawn, 4. The deaf one.
Martin, 19. The snob.
Timothy, 15.

There is also the personality known as The Teacher, from whom the other personalities all learned their specialities, and who is the integration of all other personalities.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Milligan

2008-10-12T16:37:00.002+08:00

Got bored so I went to search on how healthy tea really is. Here is what I found.

Miracle Cup: The Health Benefits of Green Tea

"How do you fit a miracle in a cup?

For 4,000 years, the Chinese people have been using green tea as treatment for everything from headaches to depression.

Today, studies are conducted in Asia and the west in order to produce hard evidence of the health benefits of green tea. In the 1994 edition of the Journal of National Cancer Institute, the results of an epidemiological study stated that one of the health benefits of drinking green tea is that it can reduce the risk of esophageal cancer in Chinese men and women by up to 60%.

The rich presence of catechin polyphenols, particularly epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG) is the reason why green tea has so much health benefits. A powerful antioxidant, EGCG can not only inhibit the growth of cancer cells but can also destroy them without harming healthy cells.

The University of Purdue has also concluded a research on how a certain compound present in green tea can stop cancer cells from growing. Still another health benefit of green tea is its ability to lower down cholesterol levels and improve the ratio between good (HDL) cholesterol and bad (LDL) cholesterol.

The EGCG in green tea is a health benefit substance that can lower down LDL cholesterol levels and stop blood from forming abnormal clots (thrombosis), a leading cause of heart attacks and strokes.

Green tea has more health benefits compared to other Chinese teas like oolong and black tea, all of which come from the plant Camellia sinensis. What makes green tea different is the process by which it is made. Green tea owes much of its health benefits to how the Camellia sinensis leaves are steamed. The steam process keeps the EGCG health benefit of green tea from oxidizing. With oolong and black teas, however, the leaves are fermented instead of being steamed, thus causing the EGCG health benefit to transform into another less medicinally potent form.

Aside from medicinal value, green tea can also offer other health benefits, especially in the fitness field. Drinking green tea can cause a person to burn down more calories. A recent study on the health benefits of green tea shows that the drink can help dieters. According to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition in 1999, men who take both caffeine and green tea burn down more calories than men who only take caffeine or a placebo.

Another health benefit of green tea is its bacteria-destroying properties. The health benefit of green tea in this area is that it can help prevent food poisoning and also prevent tooth decay. The substances found in green tea kill the bacteria causing food poisoning and those that cause dental plaque to form.

Well known for its countless medicinal and health benefits, green tea is nothing short of a miracle."

2008-10-12T16:32:00.000+08:00

Come Home by One Republic

Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So i say you’ll..

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
Oh

I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeahh
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Oh

Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
So hear this now

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home

2008-10-12T12:36:00.001+08:00

You Act Like You Are 18 Years Old

You are a teenager at heart. You don't quite feel like a grown up yet, but you don't feel like a kid.

You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

You're quite rebellious, and you don't like being told what to do. You like to do things your way.

You have your own unique style, taste in music, and outlook on life.

What Age Do You Act?

2008-10-12T12:27:00.008+08:00

Your Physical Flirt Level: 40%

You are definitely a flirt, but you are more subtle than over the top.

As far as physical flirting goes, you know that a little goes a long way.

You will touch on occasion, but you're never flagrant or inappropriate.

You just use physical stuff as the icing on your flirting cake.

Are You a Physical Flirt?

Baby Carrots are not what you think they are

2008-10-11T21:16:00.002+08:00

'The following is information from a farmer who grows and packages carrots for IGA, METRO, LOBLAWS, etc.

The small cocktail (baby) carrots you buy in small plastic bags are made using the larger carrots which are put through a machine which cuts and shapes them into cocktail carrots .

What you may not know and should know is the following: once the carrots are cut and shaped into cocktail carrots they are dipped in a solution of water and chlorine in order to preserve them (this is the same chlorine used your pool) and since they do not have their skin or natural protective covering, they give them a higher dose of chlorine.

You will notice that once you keep these carrots in your refrigerator for a few days, a white covering will form on the carrots; this is the chlorine which resurfaces. At what cost do we put our health at risk to have esthetically pleasing and simple to serve vegetables which are unhealthy?

We do hope that this information can be passed on to as many people as possible in the hopes of informing them where these carrots come from and how they are processed. Chlorine is a very well known carcinogen.'

2008-10-11T11:53:00.002+08:00

Came across this today which I thought will be good to share.

The tell-tale symptoms of depression

People who may be suffering from depression or manic disorders actually exhibit or show each and every kind of symptom of depression that doctors will tell you that depressed people have. Sometimes it's actually quite easy to overlook such symptoms and not be able to help one self or others who are suffering from depression for that matter.

There are actually a lot of symptoms of depression that depressed people may actually posses but they dont have to suffer from each and every one of them before you actually help them get diagnosed and be treated for this illness. Also, since symptoms of depression actually vary, the time of their "attacks" varies as well.

Here are some common examples of symptoms of depression:

Prolonged period of sadness or not feeling "up to it," people who are always feeling not in the mood, who rather mope around the house and feel sorry for one self is the best example for this symptom of depression.

Feels hopeless, perennial pessimist: speaking of feeling sorry for one self, another common symptom of depression is when a person actually feels like he/she has nothing to look forward to in his or her life. As for being the perennial pessimist, those who show this symptom of depression are usually very negative about things, again, the feeling of hopelessness comes in to mind.

Guilt-driven, loss of self-worth and helplessness: other symptoms of depression that can be easily seen on people who prefer to mope around all day long are these. Whenever a person feels so guilty over something, that actually makes one a very sad person who feels like he or she doesnt deserve to be happy. Thus, the loss of self-worth, if that person feels like he or she isnt worthy of being happy or enjoying one self then that's a clear tell-tale symptom of depression. Helplessness also contribute to being depressed, when assuming that things wont simply go your way, it's already a clear saying that you have absolutely no hope in your body at all.

Isnt interested in finding or taking pleasure; just dropping the hobbies as well as the other things that one used to enjoy: this tell-tale symptom of depression just shows how depressed a person can be, if one is actually too sad to take pleasure even in the very things that one loves then that person is seriously lacking something, rather, that person might well have caught the depression bug.

Fatigue, always tired: people suffering from depression, since they're lost whatever interest in life that they may have had before are actually lacking of physical energy at all times, if one would prefer to just mope around, probably wont even eat not get enough sleep, a depressed person may well be on their way to not just a mental illness but depression can actually be terrible for ones physical health as well.

Having trouble concentrating, having bad memory and is indecisive: a person who is suffering from depression easily gives away this tell-tale symptom of depression. Where in one's lack of interest with regards to the outside world or for just about anything for that matter can lead to that person's inability to lose track of things and actually not be able to remember things that happened or what other people said. Lack of interest actually makes depressed people very inattentive.

There are actually more symptoms of depression that can actually help you see if a person (or you) needs to be brought to the doctor to get some help when it comes to depression: lacking sleep, sleeping too much or waking up at wee hours of the morning are all symptoms of depression (if it happens on a daily basis), appetite loss as well as eating too much may show ones lack of enthusiasm for life. Be weary of sudden weight loss or weight gain in those around you. Being suicidal, talking about death, about wanting to die is another clear indication that that person is depressed. Being restless and irritable and physical symptoms that are usually brought about by poor mental health such as headaches, digestive disorders and various body pains.

2008-10-05T16:13:00.003+08:00

My grandma is coming home tomorrow...after a week spent in the hospital. It's really weird you know, how I am used to not having her here at home or even when she is, I treat her as though she wasn't. I know I'm being a bastard but this is what I really feel. Like it's alright if she is missing from my life. Like I don't even care for her. I've lived with her ever since I was a kid and it's like...it ends up this way? With me showing no concerns to her well being or even conveniently forget that she isn't around. She has been very sick lately...for the past year or so. It all happened so fast that since a few months ago...she started lying on her bed all day long. Doing her business in her room, having her meals there, watching television there and of course sleeping there. She seemed to have been seperated from my life, with just one room apart. Everytime I come home, she doesn't know. Everytime I leave, she doesn't know too. She forgets things too easily that I stopped trying to let her know what is going on. I forgotten since when did her memories stopped at the point when I was still studying, when I still need her to make me have my meals, to get a bath and to ask her for money when I don't have any. And sometimes, she will just forget that she is at home and asked to be sent home. There is really nothing we can do but just let her be and let her believe in what she wants. I used to dislike her for nagging, for not understanding, for being too much a busybody and for being so stubborn. But now, I don't know what I feel for her. And it is that that's bothering me. Who is she to me? Is she becoming more of a burden? In fact, the only reason why she isn't is probably because my grandpa is taking care of her, himself. I have not helped to change her diapers or feed her. Neither have I been to the hospital to visit her or even talk to her when she is at home. Sometimes I even ignore her when she calls for me. I never told anyone about how I feel towards my grandma before. Is that because I feel ashame of her? Or maybe I'm just so unfilial, unloving and uncaring.

2008-10-05T10:25:00.008+08:00

Ghost Whisperer is out!!!! Have been a big fan of the show and I can't wait to see what this new season is all about. Each episode has a story of its own and it really doesnt matter if you miss one or two episodes. It's so touching every episode, with how people deal with the death of their loved ones, how people learn to move on and how she helps people to do that. It's just so nice!

Have also started on this new show, The Mentalist. It's like CSI or any other crime solving show but this is different because it has some sort of psychic abilities and telekinesis in it. But more importantly it's how he solves crime with his gift - the ability to see beyond things, how he can tell whether the person is lying, how he knows things that nobody knows. It makes the crime solving way easier to understand with less scientific methods and explaination.

Gossip Girl is another show I'm watching now. Already half way through season 1 and I plan to follow up on it. It's something different from the normal kind of teenage life show because here, everyone is rich, or most of them. It's cool just to see it from a different point of view, one from the rich. Alot of bitching, backstabbing, guilt, remorse, fun, love and maturing you can see from the show. Oh and one more thing, they have a good cast.

2008-10-03T21:17:00.007+08:00

Watched Money Not Enough 2 on thursday during unit bbq for the anniversary. Didnt expect myself to like the show and regretted not watching it in the theatres. The plot is simple and so real...it's funny yet touching and meaningful. It really gets me thinking about the way I treat my elders.

After the bbq, PS drove us home again. It's actually the 2nd time in the week he did that. Felt like we were exploiting him =X We can tell that it is not easy to work in the army and there are heavy responsibilities to carry.

Watched Big Stan today morning for unit anniversary too. It's the first time I fell asleep in the cinema. It's probably due to the lack of sleep the previous night but still I think more of it is because the movie really didnt interest me =/

Head over to Fish & Co for lunch at Suntec today and the service there totally sucked! We had 12 people and they gave us 10 seats telling us it's for 12.We then argued that we asked for 12 not 10 and they were like...you can have 2 people sitting on 1 seat on each end of the table. We were like wtf? We were so puzzled because we couldnt even understand clearly what the waitress saying. In the end, she finally realised that she could add another table for us. Like duh! that was what we were asking for in the first place! It was like so confusing over there. We had set meals that included drinks + soup + salad + main course. But it took damn long before anything was served. We had to ask them for ice water before they give us anything. And after the long wait, the main course was served first! The soup and the salad came only after that when we asked for it. So did the drinks. The waitress totally forgot about the drinks we ordered. Well she did apologize but still it was like...Not only was the food served wrongly, we literally have to ask them for it. And worst of all, they give us the bill before we even got what we ordered! I'm so not going over there again.

Another thing to note...quit smoking and stop giving empty promises!

2008-10-01T18:49:00.000+08:00

Booking in tonight...booking out tomorrow night... =/

2008-10-01T11:43:00.003+08:00

Here are some of the photos from the diving trip...

2008-09-29T04:28:00.002+08:00

Yay just got back from the diving trip. We got to stay on board for the whole trip which is something we didnt expect to. Staying on board = less time wasted = more diving trips. But then the sea sickness got into me quite a bit. Couldnt really sleep when the ship was rocking too much. But besides that, DIVING IS FUN!! First time you see things underwater. First time you see fishes that you have no idea of. And I really enjoyed the peace you have on board. Nothing to think about, just to do what you like. A break from the outside world. It's quite amazing how things turn out better than what I expected.

Still experiencing a bit of dizziness even after one night rest at home. It's like I'm still on board, with everything moving around. The feeling is weird and I'm surprised it lasted so long.

Gotta book in soon later. Have to be back in camp by 7am. Freaking early =X Still have pics with other people. Will try to get them and post more about the trip when I've got time.

2008-09-26T17:14:00.001+08:00

Won't be back till Sunday.

2008-09-25T00:17:00.003+08:00

For this block leave, I ...

Got myself a silver Ipod Nano. Yay =D
Watched new season of Smallville, Heroes and Sarah Conner. Very nice.
Went for diving pool and theory lesson. Interesting, fun but tiring.
Went for coy retreat. Boring =(
Explored OCH. See, heard, felt nothing. =(
Finally knew that I can't take alcohol. Rashes =(
Formatted com. Finally...dam troublesome =(
Quit WoW for now.

Busy week...more to come...diving trip!

2008-09-14T15:56:00.002+08:00

I think I'm going to get the new Ipod Nano =X

Lyrics | The Man Who Can't Be Moved lyrics

2008-09-07T15:59:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm very selfish..

2008-09-01T14:00:00.003+08:00

My mum asked me twice this weekend again...not to mention the number of times she asked me when Im in camp...it sux when this is all she can say. Whatever it is, Im not giving in.

I think it's been 2 weeks since I spoke to her...I don't know why...It hurts to see her living in her own dream...her lie...and I can't bear to tell her that it's all fake. At least if I'm in her shoes...I would prefer not to know the truth.

2008-08-25T19:25:00.001+08:00

Not Your Enemy - Jesse McCartney

Sorry for all the times that he lied
And left your heart hangin'
I can't imagine what that feels like

But that was another place
And that was another time
It's not fair to blame me for all his crimes

Just for a minute give me a chance
Let me inside just for a minute
Baby just for a moment
Let me prove I'll do things right

Let down your guard
And show me your colours
Don't fight it anymore
Show me you're with me
Open your arms
I'm not like the others
So don't fight it anymore no
What will it take for me to make you see
I'm not your enemy

Funny on the day that he left
I wasn't even there
It's become a nightmare

But I'll never rest till you give your all
I'll take nothing less till I hear happily ever after
The end

Just for a minute give me a chance
Let me inside just for a minute
Baby just for a moment
Let me prove I'll do things right

Let down your guard
And show me your colours
Don't fight it anymore
Show me you're with me
Open your arms
I'm not like the others
So don't fight it anymore no
What will it take for me to make you see
I'm not your enemy

How do you expect things to get any better
If you keep me on the sideline
Don't you know there's a million things I wanna do
But you gotta meet me halfway you gotta try

Let down your guard
And show me your colours
Don't fight it anymore
Show me you're with me
Open your arms
I'm not like the others
So don't fight it anymore no
What will it take for me to make you see
I'm not your enemy

2008-08-25T19:14:00.002+08:00

Made new passport...sleepover at sherman's place...watched 2 movies...cinema...another 2 movies...AHM...sakae buffet...bought another new book...collected cert...

Going out everyday for this weekend...kinda tired..I need to spend time alone!!

2008-08-17T15:45:00.002+08:00

Finally changed my blog skin =X Think it looks better now. Anyway...went ice skating on friday and I guess I ain't too bad for a first timer. Just a couple of falls and blisters...it's fun but tiring too.

Also bought 3 books this week...it's been quite some time since I bought books. Out of the three, one is on conselling, the other on mediums and the last book on crime and mystery. Pretty weird combination huh?

Quite a number of things happened this week that made me thinking. Thinking about "what if"s. What if it's me? What if it happens to me? What if I'm not really who I think I am? There are a lot of things that I tell myself I can handle, I won't be like others...I'm not so weak, but somehow I kind of lost that confidence in myself. Starting to ask questions that I have once answered but need to be answered again. Maybe what I'm doing isn't what I should do...maybe I should not try so hard? I don't really have a clear picture of what's bothering me but there is definitely something. Is it about relationship? About death? About being myself which I don't really know how? Trying to be different? Wanting to help? So many thoughts just flow through my mind whenever I stop and think...it's tiring =/ Why can't I just be like others who don't think so much? Hmmm...I'm thinking again...damn...

2008-08-17T07:13:00.001+08:00

Running Away by Midnight Hour

Don't lie and say that it's OK.
It's alright if there's nothing more to say.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Don't tell me I'm the one to blame.
It's too late for you to make me stay.
No, I won't stay.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place.
And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving
Yeah I'm leaving today.
And I, I'll never let you find me.
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back.
And I don't want to hear your reasons.
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay.

And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

2008-08-11T18:41:00.003+08:00

I was quite amazed by what I did this weekend...first of course was the last min decision to go out on sat night...then slept for 16hours yesterday from 3.30pm...then talked about stuff online that I didn't expect...and then reading about stuff online about emotions, behaviour, disorders and so on...psychology =X

The personality test below really made me laugh!
"You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury."
When I saw this I almost fell off my chair laughing! It's like...OH MY GOD??? It totally read my mind. But it was only after I read the entire thing when I started to have doubts about it. It's not entirely true but neither it's fake...it's just how these tests are I guess...made for the public haha.

And so...the intensive reading began from 3pm this afternoon till about now...It all started from searching about Emphathy on Wikipedia. Never expect to read so long about it. I even went to read a thesis that's 140 pages worth on it...just scanned through tho =P I was quite surprised I managed to survive all that ready for 3hrs straight...when I usually don't read online...it must be the interest I guess.

It's rather interesting and fun to do stuff like that...just relax at home reading about things that will interest you...forget about gaming for once and just do something else.

USSN is definitely not something I want to be called...it's like labelling someone and people start to judge you even before they approach you. Then it won't be fun anymore would it?

2008-08-11T16:24:00.001+08:00

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

- Dale Carnegie

2008-08-11T15:02:00.000+08:00

Name: Jie Chong
Date: 8/11/2008
Colorgenics Number: 56173042

You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality.

You 'need to be needed'. As an idealist you are intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to you. If you do not get what you seek you are apt to become reclusive and you will close the doors on all those within your sphere of influence.

At times all of us would like to be like the ostrich - to be able to bury our heads in the sand and let the rest of the world go by, but unfortunately you can't do just that - you have to face up to reality. A little peace and quiet would be most acceptable at this time but if only one could turn a blind eye to the problems of the day! Tomorrow is another day and who knows, it could be 'today' (not tomorrow) that could be the first day of the rest of your life!

Recently everything seems to have gone wrong and so you are experiencing considerable stress and anxiety due to mental conflict. A continuous case of 'Should I?' or 'Shouldn't I?'. At this particular moment in time you feel as if you have reached the end of your tether and it seems impossible to ever rectify the situation and so you have decided, perhaps quite unrealistically, to postpone making any further decisions. Disappointment and unfulfilled hopes have given rise to despondency. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decision, you are likely to immerse yourself in the pursuit of trivialities as an escape route.

Trying to cope with conditions which you think are beyond your capabilities has led to considerable anxiety and stress. You now feel that you are not capable of coping with this situation and indeed any situation which could arise from what you consider to be your personal inadequacy.

http://www.goldinuniverse.com/

2008-08-02T18:26:00.008+08:00

Bleh...this week sure is tiring with all that training. Only think that made it not so bad was of course the platoon cohesion we had on friday. So we decided to go to marche for lunch and I was slighly late for abt 10mins or so and I'm already the latest -.-" But then it's better than not attending right? =P First time at marche and it's a cool place. Expensive maybe but it's quite a good place to hang out. Anyway we decided to catch The Mummy after lunch and we managed to get seats for 15 of us all in a single row...but it was the 3rd row from the front =/ After the movie everyone just kind of split up on their own and only a few of us left walking around vivo. Somehow it's pretty obvious how not everyone is really interested in the cohesion but just the fact that we can book out early. It's expected but then I can't help but think...this is how we are going to spend the remaining 1 year plus I guess.

Me not part of the picture because I don't belong to their table...SPLIT TABLE LIAO NOW!

Nic trying to sneak in the picture -.-"

My mum asked me to help to pay for my younger bro's school fee because she's tight on cash. I rejected her immediately and telling her not to ask me for money and that if she can't pay for the fee...don't let my bro go to school...It was pretty harsh but I really hate it when she ask us (elder bro and me) for money. She decided to ask me prolly because she updated my bank book the other day and realised that my pay was rather high. She did it behind my back when she asked for it to settle some paper work for selling the house. That's also partly why I wasn't entirely happy about her asking me for money. Alot of money problems happened recently. We have people visiting our house that are interested in it...grandma just returned from the hospital and I don't even know if the bills are paid...and my bro's poly fees that my mum promised to pay before hand but can't now. Now they are planning to sell the flat and not have a plan of where we are going to stay after that (why am I not surprised?) Rent a small flat and have 7 of us inside? How great is that. When I say small, it IS small. It's only a 1 room flat for goodness sake. I can't imagine how life will be like next time.

When I didnt want to lend my parents money...it's also because I'm saving them myself for my own uni fee. Selfish maybe but I'm not going to give in to them. Lending them money is like throwing them away and I rather keep them for myself. Haven really told anyone about the financial situation at home yet because I don't want that to affect me outside. But the fact is it is affecting me. All this happened when my dad started his own business which failed miserably. I really hope that things will start to get better...

I don't want to move to a smaller flat...I don't want my bro to have to worry about his fees...I don't want my grandma to be sick...I don't want to have to pretend that everything is ok when it's not...I don't want to be poor...

2008-07-20T18:00:00.002+08:00

Down with fever since wed....reached a temp of 38.7 until I reported sick...or rather forced to =X Only got to see the MO on thursday and after 3hrs of torturous waiting...the doc only spent 2mins of his time on me and off I go, 1 day MC. What a waste of my time. Furthurmore, he only gave me panadols, telling me straight in my face what a lousy doc he is. Argh.

I went home after that and only got to know that my grandma is hospitalized again when she went for a medical checkup. Sigh. Just when I thought things will get better for a while. Now I don't know when she will be back again. I slept throughout the afternoon when I'm home and woke up at like 6pm only to realised that my fever is still persisting. Only then I decided to see a private doc and got another day of MC. This time of course I had better medicine than panadol.

Went out to watch The Dark Knight on sat and yes, it is GOOD. 2 and a half hours of enjoyment is definitely worth it for 10bucks, not to mention a job well done by the Joker. He really IS crazy.

On my way home I was asked about how one should decide his path...or something like that. All I can think of is if you don't know what to do then don't do anything. Let time show you what you really want.

Got to book in later and the following is full of climatization training. Only thing to look forward to is the early bookout on friday due to outcamp run...that is of course after the compulsory run...zzz

2008-06-30T04:30:00.002+08:00

Happy Belated Bday to me!! Finally turned 19 yesterday. Last year in my teens XD

Anyway...spent my bday staying at home watching shows. Watched like 4 episodes of Ghost Whisperer followed by WoWing and then catching Narnia on TV. Enjoyed the time spent at home just to do things that I like. More importantly, I got to spent the night sleeping at home because I don't have to book in last night!! Must be dam lucky to have a half day off fall on my bday. Yay!

Thanks to all those who sent me their wishes and presents and of course thanks for the ice cream cake =X

2008-06-15T15:56:00.002+08:00

Got reminded of some stuff....realised that I still haven gotten over it...
Not really sure of what to do or who to turn to...
It's time I think about it seriously.

2008-06-10T15:27:00.002+08:00

It's over finally~ Finally gotten the badge that entitle us as part of the unit. After all the trainings that we did...it was a meaningful POP.

Spent the next 6 days having block leave that ends tml. Kinda sux coz time passes god dam fast when not in camp. Spent the blk leave going out for movies, playing and playing and playing and also watched some shows at home.

Came across this show that I always wanted to watch and finally started it. It's really nice considering the fact that it's old and different.

2008-05-25T07:51:00.002+08:00

2 more weeks to POP!!! Can't wait for that. That also means that June 2 is approaching and I have yet to make a decision on my uni choice. After much thinking...it stills remain vague which uni I will ultimately prefer. All 3 have their strengths and weaknesses that make it so hard to decide. I hope I can make a decision soon and let it be a wise one...

2008-05-04T11:58:00.002+08:00

Hmm...finally got all 3 uni letters for social science. Planning to do psychology but don't really know which uni to choose. SMU looks attractive but then again...you never know until you are there so ARGH. Still have 1 month to decide and I hope I will make the right choice.

2008-05-01T07:02:00.003+08:00

Another good news!! I finally recieved NTU's letter for my application on Psychology. Have to decide between NTU or SMU now for the courses...and hopefully, I will see NUS letter soon ><

2008-04-26T22:41:00.002+08:00

Woo...its been 5 weeks since I last posted XD Have been really busy throughout the course. Nevertheless, I still find it meaningful and enjoyable. Met new people, new friends, new rules, new environment but old camp =X Oh and the pay is definitely good!

Somehow, I feel very different after the 5 weeks...So much have changed and suddenly I felt as though Im forgetting a lot of important memories. Weird =/

On a happier note...I FINALLY GOT MY SMU OFFER LETTER~!~ WOOT! It was really a surprise because I totally screw up the interview and thought that that was it man. But who knows~ I'm so damn lucky I guess. Very happy now XD Just when I was hoping to see it, I found it on my table the next morning when I woke up!

6 more weeks to go before I POP~!~ Hopefully all goes smoothly and that I can pass my IPPT in the end! Don't want RT~!~

2008-03-23T19:48:00.001+08:00

Kenna posted to 39 SCE as a combat engineer. >< Hope I will enjoy my time there. Anyway, have to attend SMU interview this coming thursday for admission to social science! OMG SCARY. Hope I don't screw the interview. Bleh. Pray hard =X

2008-03-09T18:56:00.003+08:00

A lvl results are finally out and here is what I got...

GP: C
Chem: B
Phy: B
Maths: A (OMG?)
Geog: B (OMG???!!!)
PW: A (got it long time ago)
Chi: A (also got it a long time ago =/)

Haha...definitely way better than what I expected. I was execting C and Ds especially for Maths and geog when I only got S for both during prelims. Oh well, I am glad to get a decent grade now and it is about time I think of what I want to do in future. Still having troubles deciding on uni courses to apply mostly coz I have never thought about it before so...>< Lets just hope I wont regret what I decide.

Anyway POP IS COMING!~! 12 March which is just next wed! OMG!! 2 weeks of bloc leave! Woot! Cant wait for that to come. BMT seems to pass by really fast and it makes one think about how life is before and after enlistment. I hope I got posted to a good unit though =X

2008-02-24T08:47:00.000+08:00

最近还好吗

挑一张耶诞卡写上满满祝福的话
地址写的是心底你能不能收到它
天有点冷风有点大城市宁静而喧哗
这一个冬天我得一个人走回家
问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜褃回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话
你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达
旧情人给的问候比陌生人还尴尬
昨天远了明天还长回忆模糊但巨大
这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下

问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜褃回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话
你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发
你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

2008-02-17T13:52:00.002+08:00

ARGH I don't want to go for re sit test. Bleh. I want to get my A lvl results asap!! I WANT TO POP~!~

2008-02-06T04:53:00.000+08:00

Argh...I am so darn unlucky...was down with fever on the day of my sit test. Highest degree reached was 39.6 and that cost me my sit test. I had to retake it now with another company. Bleh. Sux for me. It's already the 4th day of my fever and I still feel giddy, especially when I sleep. That is why I am online now blogging about it -.-" Got fever but can't sleep...wtf? Life sux :(

2008-02-02T07:18:00.001+08:00

Field camp is finally over!! Woot! Feels great to have actually been through it. Can't really believe it too. But then again, sit test is just tomorrow which means I have to book in tonight again. Haiz. Oh well, can't wait for CNY to get a long break. Really need it. Bleh.

2008-01-13T15:47:00.001+08:00

If your brother can talk bad to somebody, why can't others talk back to your family? When you tell others not to kp ur family, why don't you tell your brother to watch what he says? Just because he is your brother doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants. Grow up PLEASE and stop all these rubbish.

2008-01-01T17:05:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!~

Time really flies haha...already 18 days since I entered NS. Very soon it will be time to collect our results! And then to POP! YAY! Haha...

Sometimes I feel that staying in camp is so much better den booking out. At least you don't have anything to think of inside. It's just training and having fun! =X

2007-12-25T02:03:00.000+08:00

Army life is tough...but it is definitely something worth going through. Merry Christmas to all! Can't wait for POP to come and also A lvls results!

2007-12-20T18:17:00.001+08:00

Dam tiring sia...booking in at 8. Next book out at 23 dec. Looking forward to Christmas!!

2007-12-15T07:58:00.000+08:00

Finally...its time for ns! Going in later so cya all!

不想长大，但却又期待着未来。。。

2007-12-12T13:07:00.001+08:00

Ken finally got his own blog! Haha...I'm going to change my skin before NS! 15 dec is coming soon~

2007-12-04T08:35:00.000+08:00

Hmm...I managed to find bc's blog even though he didnt want to tell. Its rather easy though =X

Have been doing the same few things these days...life after school is really boring especially when everyone else is working except you.

Maybe it's time I change my blog skin. At least it can help me kill time.

2007-12-03T09:35:00.001+08:00

Bored...

2007-12-01T09:54:00.000+08:00

Finally got my prom stuff... =/ 245...zzz I still need shoes!! Can't wait for prom to see everyone dressed up. 5 more days...13 more days...

2007-11-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

Im Already There

He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
And when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughing in the background
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye
A little voice came on the phone
And said "Daddy when you coming home"
He said the first thing that came to his mind

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there

She got back on the phone
Said I really miss you darling
Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright
Wish I was in your arms
Lying right there beside you
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight
And I'll gently kiss your lips
Touch you with my fingertips
So turn out the light and close your eyes

I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there

We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
Oh I'm already there

2007-11-25T13:32:00.001+08:00

Haiz..........I'm bored...........

2007-11-21T08:20:00.000+08:00

Exams are finally over! We played hide and seek/ catching at school after our last paper and it was really like primary school. It's weird that now exams are over...I mean it's like it's REALLY over so what are we going to do now.

Anyway, I'll still be looking forward to prom and than...NS...zzz =/

2007-11-16T08:02:00.000+08:00

Argh. I'm back... I can't even last for 1 more week =(
I'm left with 2 more papers before A's is officially over for me!
Having chem paper 1 later. Good luck to all!

2007-09-04T18:57:00.001+08:00

Yay, Im finally going to lock my com up. No more computers until As are over. Woot! XD Cya all in 2 months time!

2007-08-31T21:06:00.000+08:00

Haiz wasted 2 days to study >< But had fun. Have to continue studying later. Going to the airport to study overnight later.

Happy Teacher's Day to all the teachers. They deserve it. Enjoy your life if you want but remember the teachers =)

2007-08-26T21:30:00.001+08:00

Don't know why but I feel super fustrated. ARGH. Im so irritated by everything around me. >:(

2007-08-26T13:24:00.000+08:00

Study break finally. 2 more weeks to prelims. Gd luck to all =)